Saturday, 21 June 2008

Ages of Man : I

(note: this is experimental writing on my part, and I reserve the right to change things arbitrarily, and to jump around the plot as suits. This is a first attempt at an opening section.)

Item 3: To receive the Tour Manager's report

Mr Coote stood to deliver his report on the forthcoming tour of the South Coast. The coach is booked within the budget set. Accomodation has been booked for all four legs of the tour, but in some cases the orchestra will be split between several bed and breakfasts as it is too large to fit in one, and that single members would have to share a twin room. Mr Kent pointed out he could think of a few people he would like to share with, to which Mr Coote responded that sharers would be put together on the grounds of their sex. Mr Kent said that this was exactly what he had in mind to which Mrs Sharpe replied that there was no need for that sort of language. Mr Coote continued, saying that he had liased with his counterpart in the choir. They are having trouble raising interest for the tour, but still expect to go ahead. Mr Sharpe then asked Mr Kent how he was getting on with filling the gaps in the orchestra for the tour Mr Kent replied to state that he had sorted out his viol tendencies, but had a distinct pain in the brass. Mrs Sharpe reminded Mr Kent that there was no need for that sort of language. It was generally agreed that the tour was shaping up nicely, and the chair asked for his thanks to the organisational team's efforts to be recorded.

Edward heard the post land heavily on the mat, and knew without looking what had arrived. Hurriedly opening a thick envelope, he pulled out the minutes from last week's orchestra committee meeting. Poring over them, his breakfast getting cold, his gleeful expression was interrupted only by the occasional tut at the spelling of Mrs Sharpe, the reluctant minutes secretary. He picked up the telephone and punched in a number from memory.

"Ah, Mrs Sharpe. Edward Kent here. Yes. I hate to bother you with more of that cursed committee business, but I just got the minutes from the last meeting and have a few comments. Oh don't worry, it's no trouble at all. No, really. You know I don't like to nitpick, but you have some spelling errors under item 3 - accommodation has two 'm's, and liaise takes two 'i's - one either side of the 'a', like two thorns straddling a rose. No, "a rose", not "arose". You missed some punctuation as w--, oh, I'll bring them in for the next meeting. Quite. Funny this, me telling you about your language after you telling me off for mine! All in good fun, you know, just trying to brighten up another boring old meeting. You know if you ever need any help I'm on the end of a telephone. No, I'm not saying that you need help, but I'm here all the same. It's no trouble. See you on Thursday. Bye."

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